Root Beer Flotation Device

They're flotation devices because they're putting a ring of fat around my middle, which may or may not keep me afloat.

I blame Mike and Jenna Blaylock. In early June, they gave Andrew and I gigantic, delicious root beer floats. I didn't think aaaaanything of it until we were having company over in early July. I said to myself, Self, let's have root beer floats. Now this seemingly innocent concoction has HIJACKED the pleasure centers of my brain. What do I want after dinner? A root beer float. What do I want after lunch? A root beer float. What do I want after breakfast?!??? Chocolate pie and THEN A ROOT BEER FLOAT. This can only end poorly.....